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Vanilla Ice

Vanilla Ice has never been relevant, even when everybody was "getting down" to Ice Ice Baby.

I mean if you actually disect the lyrics of the song they make absolutely no sense whatsoever. I thought I would highlight some of the shit he goes on about during his hit.

"Flow like a harpoon daily and nightly": Correct me if I’m wrong, but a harpoon goes quite fast in a forward direction. Why would it take a whole day and night?

"I rock a mic like a vandal": I see. What you’re telling me is that you’re using your microphone as a tool of destruction. How ruddy bloody hard you must be.

"Wax a chump like a candle": You’ve lost me here Vanilla.

"Love it or leave it you better gain weight": So your song will make me fat? How rude!

I could go on for ages, but I won’t.

The sad thing is that I quite like some of The Iceman’s stuff (seriously - "Cool As Ice" and "Ninja Rap" are both good), so this demolition of his most popular work might seem a bit weird. I just get confused by musicians who make up crap just because it happens to rhyme. I’m also confused by the fact that Rob Van Winkle seems to believe that he was once important, when really all he did was knick a sample off of Queen and speak bollocks over the top of it.

If you want REAL rap, seek out Louis Theroux.

He’s straight up gangsta.

 

 

 

 

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