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Good day.

I haven’t blogged for nearly a month now, mainly because now that the football season is over (yes, the European Championships are on, but I have no vested interest) I have little to say.

That’s not entirely true, as I have some more stuff planned for this blog soon - it’s trying to find the bloody time to do it!

So, instead of me bleating on I’ll give you some inspiring words that should inspire your sorry ass.

Enjoy.

If you’ve never failed, you’ve never lived…

With the housing market in decline, banks bricking it that people may discover how bad their debts really are, jobs beind fairly difficult to get and Newcastle winning a game under Kevin Keegan it makes you wonder how long Joe Bloggs will be prepared to put up with this country.

Possibly a little bit on the melodramatic side (bear in mind that this is the Internet, so hyperbole is a given), but the realities for the average person living in the UK are pretty dire.

With petrol costs rising pretty much every week and food going up quite a bit as well, I personally can’t remember a worse time (I’m 24) to be here. I’m thankful that I myself am not harshly affected by these things, but many people are.

How long do you think it will be until a mass exodus from the country occurs?

If Gordon Brown and his cronies continue to piss about with everybody, it could be sooner than you think.

I’ve not blogged properly at all this month, mainly because I’ve had bugger all time to write anything! For my first post back, I’ll look at some of the talking points in the world at the moment.

The Sun tell us today that Patrick Swayze has five weeks to live - except he hasn’t. He’s undergoing treatment for pancreatic cancer and, speaking from experience (my uncle had it not so long ago), there’s every chance that he’ll pull through. Don’t let the facts stand in the way of The Sun though.

HD-DVD has died, which is a pity as the discs were multi-region (i.e. if you buy one in the US, it will work on your UK HD-DVD player) - although it has resulted in some excellent firesales in Australia and America. If you want to see what’s being reduced, I suggest you search here.

In football news, Newcastle are stll doing terribly but Dunfermline are actually starting to play a bit better. My hope’s for the season have changed to praying that Dunfermline finish second and that Newcastle survive (unbelievable that they could actually go down!).

Apologies for the short post, but I was just checking in to confirm I’m not dead.

I’ll be back tomorrow with something more interesting.

Hopefully.

There’s been a bit of a debate (I say a debate, I mean some rubbish in The Sun) about whether the death penalty should be brought back into use in the UK. I’m guessing this is all in reaction to that bloke who killed those prostitutes in Suffolk and that other nutter who killed that girl outside her house - who had the worst defence in history when he claimed he’d had sex with her when she was dead, not alive.

To me, re-introduing the death penalty would be one of the worst ideas in the whole sorry history of bad ideas. Lots of people who have been sentenced to death have later been found to be innocent - which is alarming, to say the least.

How would you feel if your brother, father or son was found guilty of killing somebody and then told they must pay for their crime with their life?

And then how would you feel if they were found innocent after a few years?

What we need in this country is fairly obvious - more police on the streets, parents to teach their children about respect and this whol "nanny culture" disappearing down the drain. I guarantee that if these three things were to happen, hardly anybody would be calling for the death penalty.

Except for The Sun, of course.

Crime exists. Crime has always existed and will always exist, in one way or another, until the end of time.

But why do the tabloId press in the UK constantly have to let us all know how dangerous the world is? As far as I’m aware, almost everybody in this country has a brain and can think for themselves - do we really need to be told that we’re in danger by simply walking out the front door? The answer to this question is obviously a resounding "no", but we still get these bullshit facts in the paper every day about how many serious crimes are commited every day/week/month/year.

Is it right that you should live your life in fear of crime? Again the answer is "no", but again we are told about how dangerous the streets are at night and how innocent people are getting attacked all the time. Innocent people DO get attacked, but more often than not it’s somebody who has provoked somebody else into attacking them that’s the victim - hardly an the act of an innocent person.

How many times have you personally been a victim, or know a victim, of serious crime? I would hazard a guess that some people have had their houses broken into (I have, twice!) or maybe had their car knicked, but I doubt many have been stabbed or shot. So why do the tabloids warn us that gangs of youths are roaming the country out for violence? I have no idea.

This country has more than enough problems without getting people worked up about nothing, so they’d be better off bringing us relevant news instead of crap that will be used as fish and chip paper in a couple of days.

As for TV? That’ll be tomorrow’s rant…

Here is my cat, Oscar, in a very artistic shot - actually, if you get any closer he’ll have your hand off.

Like most cats, he appears to be the laziest bastard I have ever seen in my entire life. He spends his day either sleeping on a chair, sleeping on a bed, sleeping on a bag, sleeping on the ground or having a shit in the back garden. What a wonderful life he leads.

It makes you wonder what God was thinking when he decided cats should grace this Earth. I’ve come to the conclusion that they’re his way of saying "fuck it" to life in general.

I can just see our fat hairy furball in human form (bear with me on this one) - he’d be the equivalent of that guy who had to get lifted out of his bed on Jerry Springer by a crane a few years back. Actually, there’s a sad story about that guy in that he died a couple of years after appearing on the show. Don’t eat pies kids!

Getting back to cats, I have to say I like them. I wouldn’t want to be one myself, probably because the thought of licking my balls or anus is about as appealing as a very unappealing thing. They just have this amazing knack of being there when you’re a bit angry about something or, and this will make me sound like a right loony, feel like talking to someone.

I need to get a life.

Seriously.

I’m not asking how intelligent the people living in the UK are, but rather how intelligent the politicians running the country are.

From a previous rant you might have thought that I get annoyed with how things are carried out in Blighty and you’d be right - and who can bloody well blame me? After reading yesterday that out of 2.6 million people on incapacity benefit, 1.9 million are fit and perfectly able to work I think I may have gone a little bit mad.

Keeping these dossers idle costs a ridiculous £8 billion a year! Just think about that for a minute - it’s the most preposterious thing I’ve ever heard.

When you factor in the recent bailing out of Northern Rock, this country is well and truely fucked. And what are our superiors doing about it? Sitting around with their thumbs up their arse, as per usual. Morons.

I’ll leave you with something more positive though - the funniest thing Will Ferrell ever did when he was on Saturday Night Live.

Ciao for now.

What an interesting topic title, nobody is thinking to themselves.

Really, I’m curious about the other David McFarlane’s we can find on the Interweb - so let’s have a look!

Google shows us that there’s a councillor in Oxford (who appears twice), a real estate seller in Australia (who also appears twice), some ponce in Scotland (me!), a bloke in a chair (don’t ask), a guy in Livingston, a guy in Perth, a mission worker in Italy and an account director.

MSN informs me that there’s still a real estate seller in Australia (thanks for that Microsoft), that weird bloke in his chair again, a guy who died in 1944, a player for Dumbarton (who appears three times - popular guy), a musician, some guy who’s daughter got married and a web developer (mildly ironic).

Yahoo love me as I appear 3 times in the top five rankings (lucky me), that bloody real estate bloke’s back again (three times as well), the Dumbarton player returns, as does the musician and we have one new entry - someone selling stuff on eBay.

In conclusion, this tells us absolutely nothing about David McFarlane.

Except that Microsoft hate me.

I’ve given this site a bit of a new look, for reasons unknown at this time.

I shall return with more nonsense in the morning!

So, Brock Lesnar loses to Frank Mir in his first big UFC fight.

Am I suprised?

No.

After reading what certain people had to say about the matchup I had a little chuckle to myself - no offense to Brock Lesnar, but he isn’t good enough to be considered a genuine threat in the world of MMA.

Don’t get me wrong, in a few years time he might be up there but for now he’s simply an ex-professional wrestler getting paid a crapton of money based on his name.

See you in TNA Brock.